notes from america’s heartland

It is my conclusion that: the people who cover the world, are exactly the same. There are still many corners of the earth I still have great desire to see and know. Recently, my through my homecoming and reconnection to people, many things have made me chuckle to myself in the last month that I feel can only be expressed to a point – which is a great pitfall because of the richness that I feel about the “sameness” and universal-ness of people. It is only now that I have seen it first hand in a foreign land and come home with a new kind of vision (even though my eyesight has worsened). I can try to tell you a few of the things that have made me giggle-and only hope to convey the feelings they make me feel.

• Stealing water
While in Paraguay, I tried to convince Paraguayans that I was not spending two years in their country to figure out a way to steal their water. What a crazy assumption I thought, Americans would never think that. Well today at the public library, as I filled my water bottle up at the drinking fountain (an amazing novelty in the US), said to me, “Stealing our water, are you?” I almost fell over and spilled my water. I wanted to tell her how Paraguayan she sounded to me, but I knew I would not able to explain myself completely with out taking a good 10 minutes, and I didn’t think she would find it nearly as amusing as I did.

• So they say, storms come when something happens for the first time. Really?
I had never heard this term. Danielle explained that it was a phrase that campo-people use when someone does something very out of the ordinary (or out of their norm). That today it will for sure rain, or there will be a storm. It seemed like a strange old wives tale to me. Until yesterday, when Wanda of Wanda’s Beauty Salon (located next to my grandmother shop) said, “there is going to be a storm today, Francis was late for her appointment this morning – and you know that never happens!” Shocked I asked her to repeat what she said and asked if that was a common “american” phrase to use? She said, “Well, yeah. You are just a city folk. That’s why you haven’t ever heard it.” But I guess campo-paraguayans are very similar to campo-iowans!

• Who is he? Oh you know, he was in Philips class.
I am sure this is a phrase you have heard tossed around at family gatherings. When families are talking about a, somewhat known person in the community, informing the others about the latest gossip on him/her a phrase like, “Oh you know, he went to kindergarden with Paul. Usually the other family members need a frame of reference to identify this individual. Paraguayan and Americans alike use this technique to jog memories. it makes sense, it is highly effective form of “clueing” someone in. It has made me chuckle lately because this simple phrase can become a conversation of its own in any language.

• Mis-understandings happen in all languages – no matter your native tongue.
I knew that living in two foreign languages made me prone to misunderstandings. and I guess in the back of my mind I had hoped that upon my return, all confusion would subside and that clarity would come thanks to my native tongue. There would be no more random mix-ups about what kind of meat or how many kilos of onions I wanted to buy. That I would make perfect sense to everyone, and them to me! I was wrong. No such luck.
I was thrilled to be home for fall. I was planning on spending Halloween with my grandmother and great-aunt. I have always loved carving pumpkins and want to take full advantage of the “normalness” of Halloween, even if I was the youngest kid at our house that would enjoy it. The trick with carving a pumpkin is that you have to have one before you can carve it. Tricky, right? On the road to town, there was a farm that had lots of pumpkins and squash for sale on a wagon by the road. I pulled in, knocked on the front door, asked if it was true that the pumpkins were for sale and was told I could have my pick, pumpkins cost 3$ each. I found a cute one that looked like it would be well-suited to have a face. I also found a cool gord that looked potentially carve-able if I could convince it to dry right. As I walked back to the house to pay the woman she said, “oh that squash, its only a dollar.” “Great,” I said, “I love when I have cheap taste.” So I walked up to the house and handed her a 5$ bill. She took it and disappeared into the house. I waited a second, assuming she would return with my $1. She didn’t come at first so I decided to load my pumpkins into the car. I waited a bit longer by my car. Walked around the yard a bit. Still no change. I was confused to say the least, in my mind three dollars for one pumpkin plus one dollar for a squash/gord should equal four dollars. After a good 10 minutes, I threw-in the towel and called it even. No change, but I wasn’t charged 3$ for each pumpkin at least.